So lonely in a crowd...i reflect back on the days when i was among the family, my family. I remember the days when  went to hostel for the first time, my mother, father and sister were standing there infront of me, tears brimming their eyes, still they boldly fought them back because they didnt want me to get weak. That was the first time i faced the world on my own, learnt to fight for my rights, stand by my principles and values...and courageously came out of everything that time offered me.

today the episode is repeated once again. this time i wasnt leaving for another hostel, i was leaving for another family instead. this time, as if, by some mystical intuition, my parents knew that the journey wont be a happy one and that i would never come back, not in my normal sane self atleast.

tears broke out in their eyes, even i felt a stab in my heart, something tearing me apart from all my loved ones, all those who loved me, treasured me above everything else in the world, who would have done almost anything just to see my lips curl into a smile...still ....proudly they gave my hands into those of the stranger...thinking that he would guard their treasure just as well as they had done so far

All doubts cleared when the make-beleive mirage shattered, my parents proud was shattered, my existence was shattered. every moment i was reminded of what an omen i was...the worst daughter, the worst sister, the worst friend, the worst wife and the worst daughter-in-law...all the while i was only wondering "what did i exactly do to deserve this". ironically none, my parents, sisters, friends, absolutely none had bestowed this disgrace upon me earlier...so what changed now? Perhaps, the family, the atmosphere, and now i learnt a new lesson..."No matter how hard you try, what you give, whatever you sacrifice, an outsider always remains an outsider in other's family unless they themselves decide to take down the wall", which some do but most don't.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and cry alone!